I'll chalk it up to the Venereal Hearing Type 1 Disorder, or VH1---if you're afflicted, even if you know it's bad you watch it anyway.
Oh, and my fav. part:
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My blog died back in April of this year, 2009.
I murdered it with no mercy. I beat the crap out of the archives, the layout (well, what was the sad excuse for a layout), everything. I'm talking Casinostylebeatings, except instead of coming from LeatherJacketJoePesci, it came from FurCoatSharonStone---just shorter and Asian.
I got quite a few emails after I killed my blog. Cries of NOWEI and WTFSTOOPID and WOMANMAKEMEASAMMICH. I was very touched. I considered crying many times, but I'd never ruin my makeup.
Jong (I guess he would be.. DeNiro?) even tried encouraging me to bring the blog back to life.
He told me that blogging success brought him tons of efame. He was especially quick to highlight all the epussy he's been getting lately and how utterly ridiculous I was being to pass up on epussy. For dramatic emphasis, he wrote epussy on the rind of an orange slice and stuck it in his mouth, smiling at me so I could see the word as he mumbled "ISF SHFEELS SHO GHOOHD HINN DHA SMOUFTH" (dummy.. the word was backwards anyways).
I'm not sorry at all I murdered my blog. It was my blog's time. We all have a time right?
Then, the other day I saw an email in my box with the subject The 5 People You Meet in Game Blog Heaven. It was sandwiched between MAKE UR PENIS GRO and LEASE A BMW S7 emails (clearly spam is a 2v2 effort these days).
I was like, WOW WHAT AN INTERESTING TITLE. Like a fool, I clicked on it (don't facepalm me you little shit, you'd do the same).
And now, I'm no longer at my desk at work---I'm soaring high, straight up, in fields of clouds. I don't know how long this has been going on, I seem to keep going higher and higher. I look below me, nothing. If there was a ground or floor or anything, it AFK'd out like the Horde in AV. I looked back up. Up up up, I kept going.
I'm fucked, aren't I.
